Bad biscuits make the baker broke, bro

50,517 notes

I think I broke Harry Potter

karlosmadera:

So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.

When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally one of the first things he is asked is “did you ask an older boy to put your name in the cup for you?" or something to that effect, insinuating that, that was something nobody prepared for and that it was something that totally would have worked if anyone had been smart enough to figure it out.

However, in an earlier scene a student is turned into a hundred year old man when they try to artificially age themselves with a potion and put their name into the cup. Meaning someone trying to dangerously age themselves with potion they aren’t familiar with was something the teachers genuinely considered to be more likely than someone asking for fucking help from another student.

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In other words, the wizards in Harry Potter’s world are so reliant on magic that it doesn’t occur to anyone save for people like Harry that asking for help is even an option in a given situation. This explains why wizards are so fucking ass-backwards at everything, they’re so confident that their magic is capable of doing everything for them that it has never occurred to fucking anyone that perhaps asking for help from the muggle world might be of some use.

Think about it, the wizarding world hasn’t changed in hundreds of years while in that same space of time the muggle world has figured out fucking space travel. I know it’s a cliché to say to say someone could have fucking shot Voldemort, but seriously, somebody totally fucking could have, he killed like 50 people, he was effectively a terrorist, if anyone in the wizarding world bothered to ask for help from the muggles instead of just telling them there was an invisible asshole flying around shooting death curses at everyone, they may have been able to help. 

Pretty much the only reason Voldermort thinks he’s better than muggles is because he’s able to kill them with impunity using magic, something he’s only able to do so easily because muggles don’t understand what magic is. Voldemort is basically like a fucking disease, he’s an invisible, lurking entity preying on mankind from the shadows like a cowardly piece of shit. You know what else did that? Smallpox and we stomped that to death the second we understood it. That’s the difference between muggles and wizards, when muggles don’t understand something, they figure it out.

And here’s the kicker, the only reason muggles don’t understand magic at all is because the wizarding world deliberately withholds information about it. However, even if the wizarding world kept doing that, it’d only be a matter of time until a muggle figured out what magic was and how to stop or harness it because that’s what humanity does, it pushes past what we think is impossible to see what’s on the other side. We didn’t understand the sun as a species originally and now we use it to power satellites and smartphones.

The wizarding world isn’t a realm of infinite possibilities, it’s a universe of strict limitations where boundaries are never questioned. The muggle world is where the real magic happens. That’s why during the course of the Harry Potter books, which are set between 1991 and 1998, the muggle world (our world) discovered dark matter, cloned a sheep and invented fucking MP3s while the wizarding world were literally paying some dipshit to figure out what the purpose of a rubber duck was.

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Wow, I really shouldn’t think about this stuff when it’s like 3AM, it gets kind of dark.

(via shhhhharlotte)

Filed under poufsouffle for reals tho

5,534 notes

cisnormative terminology that needs to stop

trans-carlos:

airagorncharda:

"female/male bodied": 

  • I’m a man, this is my body. It doesn’t matter what I was assigned at birth, this is my body and I am a man, and therefore this body is a man’s body, and therefore a male body
  • this is erasure of intersex people
  • this is erasure of nonbinary people
  • you don’t actually give a shit about gender, you’re asking about genitals, and unless you’re a doctor it’s none of your fucking business
  • and if you ARE a doctor, you need to figure your shit out so you don’t alienate your trans patients and make them less likely to seek medical help due to dysphoria
  • the term you’re looking for is "assigned female/male at birth" or "afab/amab"

"born a man/woman" (also "used to be a woman/man"):

  • trans people weren’t born cis people and then turned trans; just because it takes us a while to figure out who we are doesn’t mean we were ever somebody else
  • society is cisnormative, and lies to people, and pretends that trans identities don’t exist and aren’t valid, telling trans people that they are cis over and over again since birth like a mantra, so trans people internalize that and believe it, until the evidence to the contrary piles up so high they can’t deny it anymore. That evidence has been piling up since birth; trans people were never cis people
  • this is erasure of intersex people
  • this is erasure of nonbinary people
  • using these terms incorrectly makes it impossible to use them correctly for nonbinary people who DO identify as having started out as one thing and changed to something else
  • the term you’re looking for is “raised as a man/woman”

"male/female parts/genitalia":

  • again, I’m a man, these are my parts, therefor they are male parts, everybody needs to get the fuck over it
  • Yes, I have breasts and that gives me dysphoria and I want them removed, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME, but they are male breasts
  • Yes I have a vagina. Again, this gives me dysphoria, you are an asshole for reminding me. Again, it is a male vagina since I am a man
  • this is erasure of intersex people
  • this is erasure of nonbinary people
  • Unless you are a doctor my genitals are none of your fucking business
  • If you ARE a doctor, you need to start using medical terminology right now, because you’re a medical professional so I think you can use the word “penis” and “vagina” without melting like the Wicked Witch of the West
  • Doctors using this kind of incorrect terminology are alienating their trans patients and making them less likely to seek medical help due to dysphoria. Trans people already have ENOUGH trouble with getting medical help, don’t fuck it up more
  • the term you’re looking for is "penis/vagina/uterus/genitals" or "testes/ovaries" or (and this one’s easy) "chest"

"female/male hormones":

  • cis men and cis women BOTH have estrogen and progesterone and testosterone. Intersex people have all of these hormones naturally as well
  • there are cis women who have high levels of testosterone and low levels of estrogen and progesterone, and there are cis men with high levels of estrogen and progesterone and low levels of testosterone
  • these hormones are not specific to one sex or another, and DEFINITELY not specific to one gender or another
  • this term is hurtful not only to trans people but also people with pcos, people who are undergoing or have gone through menopause, and other medical causes for variations in hormone levels
  • this is erasure of intersex people
  • this is erasure of nonbinary people
  • the terms you are looking for, shockingly enough, are "estrogen" "progesterone" and “testosterone”

(╯◎皿◎)╯︵ ┻━┻

All cis followers please read this.

(via symbolicsodomy)

Filed under happy thoughts good to know!

9,980 notes

modern day shakespeare adaptions that should exist

  • southern gothic macbeth. the bloody, brutal themes of the play in the suffocating atmosphere of the genre. the imagery of lady macbeth’s hands dripping with blood! the witches! macbeth’s madness when he believes the swamp has actually come to life to kill him! it’s like it was made for this play
  • political othello. make him secretary of defense or state. imagine a house of cards like environment. addresses issues of current racism and misogyny in politics, and Iago’s jealous/obsessive love for Othello with very clear homo-erotic undertones. like extremely explicit and how that translates in such a masculine setting to understand Iago’s intent.
  • police hamlet. hamlet senior as the deputy in nyc. his mysterious death draws his son home from stanford/harvard/what-have-you. a modern day noir-like detective mystery. emphasis on ophelia’s depression and subsequent decent into madness by popping too many pills. the way the “respectful” upper-class tear themselves apart splashed all across the media.
  • the tempest as lost.
  • titus andronicus as a proper horror movie, set in the current war in the middle east.
  • college midsummer nights dream. the fairyland is a popular night club. lots of dubstep music and drugs slipped in dark corners of the dance floor.

(Source: colfield, via shhhhharlotte)

Filed under words